THE DEER HUNT

  I'm not sure what you would call the following little bit of information on deer hunting. Not a poem. Almost more of a story. My dad got it from another hunter a long, long time ago. He always had a copy to give to someone that wanted it. I am posting it here and hope it makes everyone have as good a laugh as my dad and I always had about it. He never had this happen to him but he did have some strange happening on some of his deer hunts. 

THE DEER HUNT

2:30 am Alarm Clock Rings.

3:00 am Hunting pardner arrives, drags you out of bed.

3:15 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the truck.

3:30 am Leave for deer woods.

3:45 am Drive back home and pick up the gun.

4:00 am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.

5:15 am Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent.

5:45 am Head into woods.

6:05 am See 8 deer.

6:06 am Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6:07 am “Click”

6:08 am Load gun while watching deer run over the hill.

8:00 am Head back to camp.

9:00 am Still looking for camp.

10:00 am Realize you don’t know where camp is.

Noon Fire gun for help ------- eat wild berries.

12:15 pm Ran out of bullets ----- 8 deer go by.

12:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach.

12:30 pm Realize ate poison berries.

12:45 pm Rescued!!!

12:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.

3:00 pm Arrive back at camp.

3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer.

4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets.

4:01 pm Load gun. Leave camp again.

5:00 pm Empty gun at squirrel that is bugging you. Squirrel runs away.

6:00 pm Arrive back at camp. See deer grazing in camp.

6:01 pm Load gun.

6:02 pm Fire gun.

6:03 pm One dead pickup truck.

6:05 pm Hunting partner arrives back at camp dragging deer.

6:06 pm Repress the strong desire to shoot partner.

6:07 pm Fall into fire.

6:10 pm Change clothes – throw burned ones in fire.

6:15 pm Take pickup --- leave partner and his deer in woods.

6:25 pm Pickup boils over ---hole shot in block.

6:26 pm Start walking.

6:30 pm Stumble and fall --- drop gun in mud.

6:35 pm Meet bear.

6:36 pm Take aim.

6:37 pm Fire gun ----blow up barrel --- plugged with mud.

6:38 pm Shit pants!

6:39 pm Climb tree.

9:00 pm Bear departs. Wrap #*%& gun around tree.

Midnight Home at last!!!

Sunday ---- Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up licence into little pieces, place in envelop and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place it!!!